I just completed the seemingly mundane task of updating my signature for my work email on my iPhone. For many this may be an unnecessary task or a head scratcher as in "what?" or "you have a signature in your email?" For me however, it's not. My email always has a proper intro and a formal ending with of course what else but my always up to date signature.
Today is the last day of my 3rd year of residency training. End of so far the fastest year of my residency. I am slightly shocked by how fast this year has gone by and now as of tomorrow I am a PGY-4. Next year on this day I will finally be done with my training. So many emotions go through my head when I think of where this year is headed. I think I don't want to think about it for a few months.
My signature update included changing my PGY-3 designation to PGY-4 and most importantly removing the "Psychiatry Chief Resident" title from the body. It was a mix of nostalgia, sadness and slight sense of relief. I am not the chief anymore.
I won't be getting dozens of emails about millions of different little things that I used to do from schedules (until I did them) to class schedules, to putting out little fires here and there, to big things that happen in every group that has 20 different adults of various ages and personalities, to many emails that I had to write to ask for this or that to be done. I am not doing the orientation this year nor am I responsible for anything else chief residents have to do. I mean there is no set job description as is and yup still no magic wand. While I feel like I will miss the daily churn and the feeling of being needed that came with the job, it is probably going to be pretty nice to have a relaxing final year of training and being back in the middle of the group in the meetings rather than at the front of the room.
It is going to be a big adjustment because at this point I have more time as a chief in the program than just being a resident. I am fully aware of this transition and that it will be a bit of struggle for me because I have a tendency to try to handle things when they present or take upon myself projects to handle things I think need handling. My title gave me enough autonomy to do so while I was in the role, like figuring out patient hand off between incoming and out going residents or taking on updating our website or changing the ER rotation structure when I felt like it needed changing. That is a place from where I have to mindfully step back and let the newbies get their feet wet and make their own mistakes and take up their own projects.
If I had a chance to do it all over again, I would probably do it despite of the frustrations and stresses and extra work it gave me. These past two years also gave me a lot of experience to look back on and learn from my mistakes. I am sure because of these two years I really want to think about what do I want from my life after this year is over.
I am finally ready to let the responsibility go and enjoy what is left of my residency training. In the end as I edited my signature today to take my place back in the middle of the group, I realized that sometimes the seemingly little or mundane acts like hitting the backspace and delete keys are all it takes to take a load off and put up your feet. Of course, it helps that now I am officially allowed to do so.
.
As some one once said "Don't close the book, just turn the page." so here I am and I think the final chapter is going to be the most exciting.
Today is the last day of my 3rd year of residency training. End of so far the fastest year of my residency. I am slightly shocked by how fast this year has gone by and now as of tomorrow I am a PGY-4. Next year on this day I will finally be done with my training. So many emotions go through my head when I think of where this year is headed. I think I don't want to think about it for a few months.
My signature update included changing my PGY-3 designation to PGY-4 and most importantly removing the "Psychiatry Chief Resident" title from the body. It was a mix of nostalgia, sadness and slight sense of relief. I am not the chief anymore.
I won't be getting dozens of emails about millions of different little things that I used to do from schedules (until I did them) to class schedules, to putting out little fires here and there, to big things that happen in every group that has 20 different adults of various ages and personalities, to many emails that I had to write to ask for this or that to be done. I am not doing the orientation this year nor am I responsible for anything else chief residents have to do. I mean there is no set job description as is and yup still no magic wand. While I feel like I will miss the daily churn and the feeling of being needed that came with the job, it is probably going to be pretty nice to have a relaxing final year of training and being back in the middle of the group in the meetings rather than at the front of the room.
It is going to be a big adjustment because at this point I have more time as a chief in the program than just being a resident. I am fully aware of this transition and that it will be a bit of struggle for me because I have a tendency to try to handle things when they present or take upon myself projects to handle things I think need handling. My title gave me enough autonomy to do so while I was in the role, like figuring out patient hand off between incoming and out going residents or taking on updating our website or changing the ER rotation structure when I felt like it needed changing. That is a place from where I have to mindfully step back and let the newbies get their feet wet and make their own mistakes and take up their own projects.
If I had a chance to do it all over again, I would probably do it despite of the frustrations and stresses and extra work it gave me. These past two years also gave me a lot of experience to look back on and learn from my mistakes. I am sure because of these two years I really want to think about what do I want from my life after this year is over.
I am finally ready to let the responsibility go and enjoy what is left of my residency training. In the end as I edited my signature today to take my place back in the middle of the group, I realized that sometimes the seemingly little or mundane acts like hitting the backspace and delete keys are all it takes to take a load off and put up your feet. Of course, it helps that now I am officially allowed to do so.
.
As some one once said "Don't close the book, just turn the page." so here I am and I think the final chapter is going to be the most exciting.
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